Night Thoughts

It's Sunday morning at like 3AM and I feel like I have a thousand thoughts running around in my head. I don't know whether to expound of them or just let them settle. Here are some of the following:

-I miss being in Mesa Court with the Summer CAs (yeah can't believe that)
-AV is going to be really different this year
-I want to fix a broken relationship I use to have
-Friends sometimes talk behind your back and it hurts since you didn't think they thought that of you
-I want to go back to church
-I hate how some people want me to be a certain way and if I'm not like that, then there is something wrong
-I am starting to get excited for school, especially the responsibility I hold in my research
-Partying it up in Lluvia would be awesome right now
-I might have to let some people go
-SMLIies (Kevin, Sitara, and Jessica) will almost be my best friends since they take me for who I am, faults and everything
-I don't like emotional stuff because it makes me question myself
-I'm tired of having to always take the high ground regarding ideas of being understanding and diversity, since even people who advocate certain minority or underrepresented groups are hypocrites as well
-I wish people wouldn't make fun of what I believe, when I don't make fun of what they believe, even if I don't agree with it
-I am still trying to find myself
-I think I need emotion counseling
-I'm scared that I am going to end up how I was fall quarter last year
-Thus, I need to go to the Counseling Center and talk to a counselor
-I'm happy that there is a new year of school
-I really want to just sit on top of a building with a person that I like and just talk the night away
-I want to be in a relationship and an actual serious one
-I am turning a new leaf

There's probably more that I haven't even thought of, but too hard to write it down or think of it. Most of these things are rants about the day and how bad it was; it's not that I'm blaming anyone. Who knows anything anymore. I just want to do the last thought: start anew.

REVISED 9/5/10:

Found on "Six Billion Secrets":

I hate that I've forgotten so many things that used to be essential to my life.
I've forgotten how to sing, to write, to not care what others think, to love, to be a good friend, to trust, to be happy.
I'm slowly dying because I've forgotten how to live.