Love Muse

The concept of marriage has always been set in my mind. There was nothing really to question about it or ponder about it. The process simply entailed finding the person you loved, getting married, having kids, and growing old together. I've never really been a cynic about marriage; it's not that I was a romantic or anything, and overall, I am mature about the whole situation. I know that marriage involved more than just love between two people. Lately though, I've come to question how marriage really works. First, just finding the person to be with in a marriage is an issue. How do I know if that person is the right one, and even if I decide she is, how do I know it will last? I really question how I could make it last with a person for so long. I am a man of commitment, and I don't believe in cheating, and this isn't about having sex with only one person for the rest of my life. It just seems difficult to keep going on in life with a person. We are always changing, so how do we change with a person over such a long period of time?

I really wish I could find a person who wouldn't mind going for a night ride at 2AM in the morning. I would love to find someone who would want to go out to a park and play on the swings, laugh on the floor, sit up and just talk at night, or just sit on the couch and hug. I want to find that person who enjoys my weirdness and jokes, who enjoys being random and sporadic, and is just in love with life itself. 

Maybe love is more than what I'm giving it credit for. I personally don't think love is all you need in relationship; it's the driving force, but so much more is needed. But then again, maybe just finding that love between a person, that one person who you can't imagine your life without, maybe that is what keeps a marriage together. Maybe that's how you are sure that this is the person you are to be with. I'm scared about how I see so many people getting divorces, but perhaps, all it takes is to remember why you ever married that person in the first place. Maybe marriage and love involve remembering the past to continue the future.